


Love is Blinding

by dillonmania



Category: DCU (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Silly, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-11 17:18:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dillonmania/pseuds/dillonmania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bless the store decorators who provide entertainment for the weary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is Blinding

**Author's Note:**

> Lisa performed with the [Futura Ice Show](http://gorogues.tumblr.com/image/25904040628), a glitzy version of the Ice Capades. She knows a thing or two about tacky. And yes, she also called Roscoe ["babycakes"](http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i227/liabrown/Henry/nicework_zps0b81581a.jpg).

“Please don’t take too long; I’ve got a lot of work to do at home,” Roscoe pleads, knowing it’s futile to even ask. Lisa rolls her eyes and protests, but they both know how much she enjoys shopping….and likes to try things on. And likes to make _him_ try things on. He knows he should never go on these expeditions with her, but it's nearly impossible to say no to her requests. So that’s how he found himself at a major department store one February afternoon, beholden to look at pretty much everything.

“Oh my God, look at that green blouse -- it’s totally adorable!” Lisa gushes and runs over to the rack. “Isn’t it gorgeous? How do you think it would look on me?”  
“It would be lovely,” he replies politely and mechanically, well aware that his response doesn’t matter. She’ll try it on regardless. Unsurprisingly, she tosses it into the basket he’s carrying and moves on to the next item.

“I've got to try this one too, and it actually goes really well with that shirt we saw in the men’s department,” she says brightly. “You know, the red one. We’ll have to go back for that, and you can try it on.”  
“I didn’t like it,” he complains, but she is unmoved.  
“We need matching outfits for Valentine’s Day, baby. Shush.”  
“Why do we need matching outfits?” It doesn’t seem particularly appropriate for a supervillain, and he’s rather appalled by the idea.  
“So we’ll be the cutest couple around, dummy. My brother will love it.”  
Roscoe suspects her brother will simply enjoy the humiliation aspect of the scheme, but Lisa’s clearly delighted about the whole thing. She does look very happy, and that’s enough to reluctantly win him over. He forces a smile.  
“Okay, we’ll go back for the shirt,” he concedes with some resignation.  
“Great! Next we have to look at jewellery!”

As they walk away from the jewellery counter, Roscoe reflects that it could have been worse; the goods at a high-end jeweller’s store would be much more expensive. But Lisa is cheerful and already heading to another part of the store, so he has to jog to catch up. That’s when they run into _it_ : the tackiest Valentine’s Day display in all of recorded history -- or so it seems to him. Beaming paper cherubs smile back at them, surrounded by gaudy lace hearts, fairy lights, and a blinding overabundance of pink. There's even an unfortunate sign (festooned with romping puppies) which identifies the area as _Your One-Stop Love Center_. He braces himself for Lisa’s excited squeals about its alleged cuteness, but instead she’s doubled over with helpless laughter.

“That has to be a joke. It’s a joke, right? Nothing’s this awful by accident,” she cackles in awestruck glee, leaning against Roscoe for support.  
“I think so,” he chuckles, finally letting out his amusement. “It makes Vegas seem tasteful and subdued.”  
“It’s like the Valentine’s equivalent to a closet full of Christmas sweaters!”  
“The Barbie aisle is politely suggesting they tone down the pinkness,” he says with a deadpan expression.  
Lisa is laughing so hard that her words can barely be understood. “And the costume designers at Futura asked for all their rhinestones back!”

The couple laughs hysterically for a few moments, completely ignoring the dirty looks from the shoppers and store employees around them.  
“Oh God, that was amazing,” Lisa snickers as she wipes her eyes. “We need to take some photos to show Len and the guys, I know they’ll get a kick out of how ugly it is.”  
“So rude,” a middle-aged woman sniffs as she walks past them, and Lisa rolls her eyes with a wry smile.  
“Let’s blow this joint, babycakes. You can buy me lunch,” she announces, giving him a gentle shove towards the front checkout.  
“Just like I bought you everything else today,” Roscoe replies with a raised eyebrow, a grin playing on his face. She smirks.  
“Smartass.”


End file.
